THIS ISSUE WITH SUBMISSION (3) | Sisters’ Corner

(Continuing from where we stopped. Read the earlier post here)

The Power of Women

Scriptures leave us in no doubt as to the tremendous power of women. But even before further recourse to scripture, it should be obvious to the reader that a “helper” suggests someone who possesses the ability (that we lack) to make meaningful contribution toward the realization of our goal. That alone should underscore the power of women. But let us still search through scripture to add more weight to this fact.

Proverbs 12:4 tells us that “a woman of virtue is a crown to her husband (MKJV).” Now, a crown (to the Jews) symbolises kingly power, joy and gladness. It also distinguishes and sets apart the head that wears it from other heads. So, in essence, a woman can make a man’s life full of joy and gladness. Further, a man in care of a woman (wife or mother) is easily noticed.

Proverbs 14:1 tells us that “a wise woman makes her home what it should be, but the home of a foolish woman is destroyed by her own actions (ERV).” Thus a woman possesses the power and wisdom to build or destroy her home. You will see this clearly when you read Bible’s description of The Virtuous Woman (see Prov.31:10-31) When you read that passage carefully, you will notice that the virtuous woman is an active (never passive) woman. She does not wait to be instructed, rather she “considers a field and buys it with her money (v16)” She is such that even if the husband contributes and does nothing, the home will still be built and in order! This powerfully underscores the inherent strengths of a woman.

It is also worthy of note that the woman has the power to make life totally miserable for the man; thus “It is better to dwell in a desert land or in the corner of the housetop than with a contentious woman in a wide house (Prov.21:19, 25:24 ASV)”

What We Suggest

ONE: If you are an unmarried lady, you should know yourself. You should have a good understanding of your strengths (and weaknesses too), uniqueness and most importantly, your purpose in life. Thereafter, you may decide on whom to accept marriage proposal from – when they start coming.

TWO: You should only consider proposals from suitors who have a (cogent, not just sexual) need you can meet; from men whose purpose in life you can help accomplish without having to abandon your own dreams and purpose. No helper abandons his own affairs in a bid to offer help to another! It is very sad to see married women whose only business is to cook, shop, change diapers and watch Africa Magic or Big Brother Africa. Every other reason for considering a proposal from a man (e.g. wealth, education, tribe, appearance etc.) is superficial!

If you cannot see how you will be of help to a man, he is most probably not the right person for you. By the way, those shortcomings you complain of may be the very things he needs your help to overcome.

THREE: You must reject suitors who insist (even before marriage) that you submit to them. Never allow any man put you under; such men will be tyrants in marriage. The right kind of man is one who emphasises the Lordship of Jesus Christ in the relationship, not his own lordship.

Peter indeed cited Sarah and Abraham as an example of a godly couple (1Pet.3:5-6); but what kind of “lord” was Abraham? He was one willing to defer judgement to God. When Sarah demanded for the eviction of Hagar and Ishmael just because Ishmael was mocking Isaac – something children normally do, Abraham did not shut her up or insist they remain even though Sarah’s demand was very displeasing to him. He simply referred the matter to God (Gen.21:9-12). And surprisingly, God judged in favour of Sarah! Any man who does not recognise in practice the Lordship of Christ in your relationship is most probably not worth it.

True Submission

Servants and employees submit out of necessity. But the right kind of submission is not borne out of necessity, but out of love. That is why it wrong and entirely foolish for a lady to say she is learning submission. It is ONLY GOD that we must learn to submit to, for our will is usually not His will – and we must accept His.

True love naturally begets submission, for love does not seek its own, neither is it puffed up. (1Cor.13:4-5). Love rejoices with the truth (v6); in other words, where there is love, the best idea is always adopted – not minding who brought it. Men who insist on having their will done (without questioning) are not truly in love.

Yes, Paul in Eph.5:23-24 compared the relationship between husband and wife to the relationship between Christ and the Church. You husbands must therefore learn from Christ to “love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for it… (Eph.5:25)” This is the secret of earning submission. Christ never directly demands submission from the Church, nor does He get it by compulsion. The Church naturally submits to the Lordship of Christ as she catches the revelation of the length, breadth and depth of His love for her. “We love because He FIRST loved us (1Jn.4:19).”

In conclusion, any man who will lavishly and selflessly show genuine love to his woman will get manifold returns of love back – and submission too, without demanding it. As a man, if you want to reap submission, sow love! That is exactly how Christ gets the Church to submit to Him. Ladies, forced submission is not, and will never be the character of GOD.

Here is a quote from a woman (sent in by Grace Atuboyedia):
“I am a woman,
Beautiful and proud.
Treat me with respect,
And I will accord you a thousand times more.
Show me love,
And you shall receive more love than you would ever need.
Listen to me with your heart,
And my voice would become music to your ears.
Love me for who I am,
And you are rest assured I will turn your flaws into strengths.”

“Now that you know this truth, how happy [blessed] you will be if you put it into practice!”
– Jesus Christ (John 13:17 GNB)