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Why We Insist You Let God In As You Choose Whom To Marry

Several of you reading this post fall in the category of about-to-marry or old-enough-to-marry. It is not unlikely that you are already in a relationship you believe will eventually lead to marriage. But before you say, I do, let me take some time to bring forth to you the “old-school” recommendation of letting God show you whom to marry, and hopefully, show you a few compelling reasons to go for this old-fashioned option.
I have assumed that you are a child of God who has an up-to-date cordial relationship with God, and knows when He speaks, and how to hear from Him. I also recognize that times have changed and in the midst of so much knowledge, the child of God is usually at loss in this matter. With these in mind, I proceed.

A Long Journey

First, you must realize that marriage is the beginning of a life-long relationship. While it may seem this point is obvious enough, I have come to realize that more often than not, we think of a relationship that ends in marriage, not one that begins with marriage. Our thought pattern is usually along these lines: I've been with him/her for a while now, and I like so-so-and-so things about him/her; I think we’re really meant for each other, I think we’ll make a wonderful couple. This thought line sees marriage as an end. The day it dawns on you that marriage is the beginning of a new no-going-back relationship, you’ll realize that those lines of thought are not enough at all.
Following from the above, you should realize that you need a life partner with whom you will both fulfill your life goals (your purpose in life). Therefore, woman, your man must be one whom you can bring yourself to help (as he) pursue his life purpose without abandoning yours; no helper abandons her own works! Man, your woman must be able and willing to support and help you as you pursue your vision. That’s the way she can be in deed and in truth the helper she was meant to be for you. I ask: how will you know this person except God shows him/her to you?

Growth Potentials

Another issue is that you will keep advancing in life, increasing, expanding and becoming more and more relevant/influential in life. We read that the path of the just is as the shining light that shines more and more unto the perfect day (Prov.4:18). Now, trust me, you have no idea what you can become in future. At present, it is not clear what we are to be (1Jn.3:2 BBE). At best, you only have a faint idea! Your partner should be one that will continue to grow as you grow, so that at no point will you feel s/he no more fits what you have become. S/he should not be one that will soon become irrelevant to you as you advance in life. I ask: how will you know this person except God shows him/her to you?

En-route Heaven

The last point I wish to put through is this: you need a partner that is also on his/her way to Heaven and is bent on getting there. Marriage (and all the issues that come with it) can choke God out of your life if you don’t watch it. The Bible and our environment are full of people whose lives and ministries were jeopardized by their spouses. As much as it is to be avoided, a time will come when those that are married will live as though they are not (1Cor.7:29). How well will your spouse cope in such times? Once more I ask: how will you know this person except God shows him/her to you?
John 2:10 tells us one plain truth: “Every man at the beginning doth set forth good wine; and when men have well drunk, then that which is worse (KJV)”. That’s the way humans behave; even the worst of men put their best foot forward – especially when it comes to relationship matters. I ask: how will you be able to see through this (wo)man, beyond all pretences, except God reveals it to you?
I have read about couples seeking for divorce after 41 years of marriage! Now, imagine the number of couples just managing their relationships. It’s common knowledge that pot-bellied men usually come to our campuses and club houses to pick up girls younger than their daughters. It is very likely their wives (at the time they got married) would never have believed their husbands would even consider extra-marital affairs, let alone with young girls. That’s why they are deeply heart-broken when they find out!
I conclude this piece by appealing to you to seek the (perfect, not permissive) will of God as to whom to marry. It’s old-school, but it’s far better. You may think it is tough, but not doing so is very risky; it will cost you much more if you fail to do so. At best, you can only make an intelligent guess of the future based on the past and present; but the best of forecasting is still a forecast. You cannot afford to gamble with your life.
Wait upon the Lord; you’ll be happy you did.
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