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When Good Girls Make Bad Choices

We’ve been very reluctant to write on issues concerning relationships and marital choices seeing that Facebook is awash with several “counsels” on those topics. However, we have become persuaded that the position of the Ancient Word (the Bible) on these issues has to be made public to he help us get it right, not having to learn from our (bitter) experiences.

Abigail

Our focus today will be on Abigail. The Bible describes her as “…beautiful and intelligent; a woman of good sense and pleasing looks (1Sam.25:3 GNB, BBE)”. However she got married to a man who, as Matthew Henry Bible Commentary described him, “…had no honour or honesty; [he] was churlish, cross, and ill-humoured; evil in his doings, hard and oppressive; a man that cared not what fraud and violence he used in getting and saving”. Even his servants described him as “…such a good-for-nothing person that it is not possible to say anything to him (vs.17b BBE)”. The only good report about the man was that he was very great and very rich (1Sam.25:2).
Now, the guys will agree that to find such a woman in this our generation is like gold. Not that they don’t exist (I’ve been privileged to meet quite a few of them); but getting and keeping them is very difficult. Such women usually get several direct and indirect proposals and “toasts” from men of different calibre; so they have the privilege of choosing an appropriate man to settle down with.
Unfortunately, our “Beauty + Brain” Sister Abigail made a fundamental mistake by marrying a very rich fool. Now, we will never be able to tell why she made that choice; but one thing we are not afraid to conclude is that she married Nabal because of his money and social status. (We stand to be corrected, anyway). Why she did so is totally irrelevant; maybe, that’s why the Bible never bothered to tell us. There is no right reason for doing something bad.
Well, you can be sure Abigail never enjoyed her life and marriage while it lasted. The marriage was without issue, even though the woman was not barren; and this will make one wonder whether her husband was responsible enough to even perform his marital duties as a man, let alone please his wife. When her husband eventually died, the speed with which she agreed to become David’s wife confirmed our suspicion that she must have been praying for that marriage to come to an end.
Read Vs.39b-42: “David sent men on his behalf to propose marriage to Abigail. When David's servants came to Abigail at Carmel, they told her, "David has sent us to you so that we can take you to him to be his wife." She bowed down with her face touching the ground. "I AM READY TO SERVE," she said. "I am ready to wash the feet of [even] my master's SERVANTS." Then Abigail QUICKLY got up and rode on a donkey with five of her female servants following her. So she went with David's messengers and became his wife”.
***
We want to encourage you single ladies, especially those of you endowed intellectually and physically, the “beauty + brains”, to re-consider your choice of a life-partner. We need to remind you that money, fame and social status are really not what you want; what you really want is a man after your heart, a man with whom you will fulfil destiny. You know, sometimes you think you need to marry a rich man to help your family out of poverty, or to help train your younger siblings in school. Do not succumb into such pressure even if it’s coming from parents.
We do not want you to make the mistake of Abigail. It is our sincere wish that you get married and live “happily ever after”. “Now these things happened to them as an example, but they were written down for our instruction (1Cor.10:11)”. Look beyond the physical; look out for virtues.
We can also extend this to making career choices and other such important decision. The bottom-line is: don’t fall for things or people who are so poor that all they have is money.
“Now that you know this truth, how happy [blessed] you will be if you put it into practice!” – Jesus Christ (John 13:17 GNB)
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